Who? What? RIght?

Jim Collins, the author of Good to Great, has marked my life forever. Not with his “right-people-on-the-bus-and-in-the-right-seats” thinking, but rather with a fresh approach to the same concept: “When you get the right ‘who’ in your life then you can do the right ‘what’.”

Consider this. Six months ago, through a personal relationship with someone in the industry, we were able to have one of our clients appear on a program that airs on television worldwide. When the lights went out on the set, we talked about an idea with the host and through that discussion, we ended up receiving a product order for our client of more than 110,000 units!

That’s the right “who” making the right “what” happen!

Here’s another one: For more than a year, one of our clients wanted to engage relationally with one of the most gifted leaders in our country. We thought we might indirectly be able to open that door, but nothing happened. Then, one of the guys on the Big Finish team, asked if another one of our clients would be interested in sponsoring an event with this particular leader. Now, both clients are in the process of engaging with this leader … and new doors are opening!

I agree with Jim Collins: relationships matter in life and business. They can’t always be charted or built into strategic plans. But, for people who have the right relationship, right things are more likely to happen.

Lord Save Us From Your Followers

The following was written by Rogers & Cowan, and sent to major press outlets.

“….(And) by the time they had finished watching the film — a humorous and heartfelt examination of the culture wars featuring a Michael Moore-meets-Monty Python style — those students could not wait to talk to Merchant about his movie and his faith. – Tom Krattenmaker, USA TODAY

Nine out of ten Americans claim a belief in God, but public expressions of faith stir more controversy and increase the ever-growing cultural divide in our society every day. Has this country lost the art of conversation? Writer/Director Dan Merchant had to do something…and desperate times call for desperate measures.

A follower of Jesus himself, Merchant, became fed up with the strident, divisive posturing that has come to represent the Christian faith and set out through his documentary film, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers, to discover why the “Gospel of Love” is dividing America.

In the tradition of entertaining documentaries like Super Size Me, Bowling for Columbine and What the Bleep Do We Know?, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers employs the language of pop culture to create a provocative, funny and redemptive film-going experience. From the man-on-the-street blitz of “Bumpersticker Man” to a “Culture Wars” game show, from Merchant’s proclamation drive to re-name St. Paul to New Leningrad to the moving “Confession Booth” at a gay pride event, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers delves into all the hot button issues with candor, humor and balance.

With exclusive interviews with comedian/Senatorial candidate Al Franken, former senator and religious right ally Rick Santorum, New York Times Best Selling Author William Paul Young (The Shack), noted liberal evangelical Tony Campolo, conservative radio host Michael Reagan and racial reconciliation activist Dr. John Perkins as well as film clips of Bono, Pastor Rick Warren (The Purpose Driven Life), and evangelists James Dobson, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, the film leaves no stone unturned in presenting an engaging, unpredictable and challenging look at the conflict over religion in America.

Thunderstruck Films and Bent Pyramid Productions present a Lighting Strikes Entertainment production, Lord, Save Us From Your Followers: Why Is the Gospel of Love Dividing America? The director, writer and producer is Dan Merchant, the executive producer is Jeff Martin, Tim Abare and Norman A. Miles are co-executive producers and the director of photography and editor is James Standridge. Also producing is Jon Manning, and the associate producer is Matt Miadich.

LORD SAVE US FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS
IN THEATERS SEPTEMBER 25

An excerpt...

I completely own the paraphrased words of my favorite author, Brennan Manning... I'm a bundle of paradoxes and contradictions. I believe in God with all my heart and, when I see the daily news, I often wonder if God even exists. I love and I hate. I feel better about feeling good. I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I'm wide open and I'm locked in. I'm trusting and I'm suspicious. I'm honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I'm a rational animal. But I am not.

I Beat Anorexia - Tim Abare

Too funny!

The Christian Ghetto

I’m both frustrated and challenged by the oft-incestuous efforts of so many who insist on reaching “in” to the millions of people who live in the space referred to as the faith-based market or Christianity.

OK! I agree, these people need to be reached on some level. But, these people also need to realize it's not all about them. They need to get a little more intentional about others and get the heck out of the Christian ghetto mindset!

I think it’s beyond time to ignite a two-thousand year old example of developing relationships with regular, everyday people in culture - neighbors, co-workers, folks who believe differently than us, homeless people, people who are rude, EVERYONE!

If we can live out our life stories and our faith in an authentic way, the outcomes might surprise us. We might just help nudge a few people a little closer to God and ultimately shift culture.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to make an intentional move towards some provocative thinking in this regard. I emailed Richard Walker, the department head of UCLA Film & TV School, one of the most prestigious schools in the nation. He attended USCís film school in the late 1960s with George Lucas, and he contributed writing for Lucas's American Graffiti. After USC, he worked for many years as a writer at Universal Studios. Eventually, he came to teach at UCLA after being offered the job at a Hollywood party. His list of credentials and accolades is impressive.

More impressive however, was his beautiful expression of Christianity, although he quickly indicated he was not one. For 90+ minutes he passionately articulated some delightful and engaging thought and insights from his 30+ years. He talked a lot about the power of story. Rarely do I find myself not wanting a meeting to come to an end. This meeting was different. Perhaps, one of the most life-impacting meetings I have ever had. Although I cannot express or define the outcomes yet, I know this meeting will be responsible for some reorientation in how I approach life and work.

One other thing, Richard said his deepest regret was having only two children. He said something like, "When I am with my kids, I sense the glory and wonder of God."

Thank you Richard!

Attention Virginia!

The following is an email from Chaplain Gordon.

GREAT NEWS! The Virginia House of Delegates just voted 66-30 to restore the rights of Virginia State Trooper Chaplains to pray publicly "in Jesus name." Last fall six trooper chaplains resigned in protest when ordered to water-down their prayers by the police supt. and Virginia Governor Tim Kaine. 

Please phone 804-786-2211, ask the Governor to PLEASE SIGN, AND DON'T VETO THIS GOOD CHAPLAIN BILL (HR2314), and let his police chaplains pray "in Jesus name." Over 1000 citizens rallied outside the governor's mansion in November (Big Finish promoted the Stand Up for Jesus Rally), to support the six police chaplain heroes who took a stand for Christ, but so far Governor Kaine won't restore these chaplains rights.

TAKE ACTION! Now the bill goes to the Virginia Senate, and is currently being debated by the "Courts of Justice Committee." PLEASE TELEPHONE THESE 15 VIRGINIA SENATORS TODAY, and ask them to vote "YES" on SB1072 to allow Virginia State Police Chaplains to pray publicly "in Jesus name."

PLEASE PHONE ALL 15 Virginia Senate "Courts of Justice Committee" Members:

Senator Robert Hurt
(R) - Senate District 19 (804) 698-7519
Senator R. Creigh Deeds
(D) - Senate District 25 (804) 698-7525
Senator Ryan T. McDougle
(R) - Senate District 4 (804) 698-7504
Senator Mark D. Obenshain
(R) - Senate District 26 (804) 698-7526
Senator Ken T. Cuccinelli, II
(R) - Senate District 37 (804) 698-7537
Senator Linda T. Puller
(D) - Senate District 36 (804) 698-7536
Senator W. Roscoe Reynolds
(D) - Senate District 20 (804) 698-7520
Senator John S. Edwards
(D) - Senate District 21 (804) 698-7521
Senator L. Louise Lucas
(D) - Senate District 18 (804) 698-7518
Senator Janet D. Howell
(D) - Senate District 32 (804) 698-7532
Senator Thomas K. Norment, Jr.
(R) - Senate District 3 (804) 698-7503
Senator Frederick M. Quayle
(R) - Senate District 13 (804) 698-7513
Senator Kenneth W. Stolle
(R) - Senate District 8 (804) 698-7508
Senator Richard L. Saslaw
(D) - Senate District 35 (804) 698-7535
Senator Henry L. Marsh III
(D) - Senate District 16 (804) 698-7516

Please also call the following 30 Delegates who voted (sadly) to continue to BAN Virginia State Police Chaplains from praying publicly "in Jesus name." REMEMBER THEIR NAMES WHEN YOU VOTE IN THE 2009 ELECTIONS.

30 VIRGINIA DELEGATES WHO VOTED AGAINST
ALLOWING PUBLIC PRAYER "IN JESUS NAME":
Delegate Kenneth C. Alexander
(D) - House District 89 (804) 698-1089
Delegate Kristen J. Amundson
(D) - House District 44 (804) 698-1044
Delegate Joseph F. Bouchard
(D) - House District 83 (804) 698-1083
Delegate Robert H. Brink
(D) - House District 48 (804) 698-1048
Delegate David L. Bulova
(D) - House District 37 (804) 698-1037
Delegate C. Charles Caputo
(D) - House District 67 (804) 698-1067
Delegate Adam P. Ebbin
(D) - House District 49 (804) 698-1049
Delegate Albert C. Eisenberg
(D) - House District 47 (804) 698-1047
Delegate David L. Englin
(D) - House District 45 (804) 698-1045
Delegate Franklin P. Hall
(D) - House District 69 (804) 698-1069
Delegate Charniele L. Herring
(D) - House District 46 (804) 698-1046
Delegate Algie T. Howell, Jr.
(D) - House District 90 (804) 698-1090
Delegate Robert D. Hull
(D) - House District 38 (804) 698-1038
Delegate Dave W. Marsden
(D) - House District 41 (804) 698-1041
Delegate Robert W. Mathieson
(D) - House District 21 (804) 698-1021
Delegate Jennifer L. McClellan
(D) - House District 71 (804) 698-1071
Delegate Kenneth R. Melvin
(D) - House District 80 (804) 698-1080
Delegate Joseph D. Morrissey
(D) - House District 74 (804) 698-1074
Delegate Paul F. Nichols
(D) - House District 51 (804) 698-1051
Delegate Kenneth R. Plum
(D) - House District 36 (804) 698-1036
Delegate David E. Poisson
(D) - House District 32 (804) 698-1032
Delegate James M. Scott
(D) - House District 53 (804) 698-1053
Delegate James M. Shuler
(D) - House District 12 (804) 698-1012
Delegate Mark D. Sickles
(D) - House District 43 (804) 698-1043
Delegate Lionell Spruill, Sr.
(D) - House District 77 (804) 698-1077
Delegate David J. Toscano
(D) - House District 57 (804) 698-1057
Delegate Margaret G. Vanderhye
(D) - House District 34 (804) 698-1034
Delegate Jeion A. Ward
(D) - House District 92 (804) 698-1092
Delegate Onzlee Ware
(D) - House District 11 (804) 698-1011
Delegate Vivian E. Watts
(D) - House District 39 (804) 698-1039

The six heroic police chaplains took a stand for Jesus, now it's our turn to join them.
Make your calls today! Ask your Senators to vote YES on SB1072.

God Bless you, in Jesus name!
Chaplain Gordon James Klingenschmitt
719-360-5132 cell

Graphic Reminder

In my mind, everyone should have someone to care about them enough to prevent these kinds of things from happening... ever.

This is just one more graphic reminder why Ann and I are living on less and giving more and why our personal commitment to live on 50% and give away 50% is so stinking critical in the lives of others. 

Photo: Max Ortiz / The Detroit News

Ted, Ted, Ted!

Even though it was 15 years ago, it seems almost like it was just last week when Ted Haggard picked me up at the airport in Colorado Springs and drove me around the city for the day. As vice president of Teen Mania, the Board asked me to go there and find a suitable building for the ministry's planned relocation. Ted was my tour guide.

As we navigated our way around the city, with Ted's son in the back seat, I distinctly remember Ted being surprisingly informative, inspirational, conversationally engaging, and so down to earth. 

I wasn't impressed as I watched a few minutes of him on Oprah. I was, however, moved by his conversation with Larry King. Yes, I agree with Lucado, we should long for documentaries on all of the guys who serve scandal-free. But, from where I sit (and I know there are a many perspectives and views), it sure seems like they are trying to make amends, do things right, and follow God. Even if they weren't, I think Ted, Gayle, and the kids are worth loving in profound ways. I'm no preacher, but it sure seems like it's the Christ-follower thing to do -- forgive 70x7. 

I have the unique opportunity to "do life" with many luminaries, clients, and get-it-done people everyday. They all lead productive lives and bring an improving perspective to everything I/we do. Not to mention, they energize me and give me hope for a better tomorrow.

As I've thought through the intentional and missional model of Big Finish Media, prompted by spending 3+ hours with a talented writer today, I'm convinced that our approach gives our clients and projects an unfair advantage.

The reality is, because of our model, approach, and proximity to important shifts/trends, we are able to be flexible, smart, and quick with almost everything we do.  Let's face it, we must change the way we "do" business/ministry every day if we're going to be a sustainable organization. There's not many leaders who put thinking ahead of their decisions on a real-time, minute-by-minute basis. 

Rules for Men

My daughter gave me this list. 

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side....

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " on purpose.

1. We often can't even read our OWN minds, so how can we possibly read yours?

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf .

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Why Do People Work With Us?

Prompted by a meeting I had with a writer this morning, I was intrigued enough to to think about "why" people do business with us. 

We’re actually going to ask each of them and post their comments, but I thought it would be fun to see if our “why’s” intersect.

I think people do business with us because…

1. They hope for a better future

2. They trust our experience – almost 20 years
3. We’re batting better than .500 (not perfect, but we’ve won more than we’ve lost)
4. They dig our new model – especially the small start™ option
5. They like our ideation, strategic thought, and our plan for execution
6. They genuinely like our team
7. They were referred to us
8. We share similar beliefs, goals, philosophies, and desired outcomes.

We'll see...

2008 Christmas Letter

Christmas 2008

Greetings to family, friends, and everyone else who happens to be reading this,

Christmas just might never be the same again! Last year, instead of the festive pomp and circumstance that normally surrounds “my favorite time of the year”, we did something radically different.

We combined the resources that all of us normally would have used for gifts, travel, and other activities, and together with the generosity of so many friends and family, all nine of us traveled to Haiti to bring the Hope of Christmas to enormously hopeless people. It was eight days of allowing the hope that comes from the Messiah to radiate through our family in a powerful and profound way. You can check out a sweet video on YouTube.com - simply search for Abare Haiti Video and be sure to view it in “high quality”.

This year we will all gather in Charlotte as we try to figure out how to celebrate in the midst of so much human suffering and economic tragedy. One thing is sure, we will enjoy being together!

Now, it’s time to talk about eight of the most special people on the planet. They are all, literally, over-the-top in so many ways. It seems impossible that genetics could be a factor.

Luke (23) lives in downtown Seattle (he moved from Charlotte in March) and gets to spend time with other family in the area. A.K.A. “Mr. Outgoing” Luke is meeting a lot of peeps, is involved in the Organic Church, and loving life. He works for Boeing, has his private pilot’s license and is pursuing his flight instrument rating through Mission Aviation Training Academy.

Craig (26) moved from Charlotte to his favorite destination in this country – New York City. His apartment is more like a revolving door for visitors. He lives on the island (Manhattan, not Long) and takes full advantage of all of its offerings. After years of contemplation, he has resigned from management at Starbucks and is moving towards his dream in photography. He’d love to travel the world as a missionary photographer.

Paul (15) is doing two things for the first time in his life – he is going to a public school and snagged his driver’s permit. He is attending the Bill & Melinda Gates Military & Global Leadership Training Academy. It’s a magnet school in Charlotte – all of the classes are AP. He’s doing really well – active in ROTC, volleyball, and still ref’s ice hockey. Paul and his friend spent 17 days in California this summer with Mark, Brad, and Jamaica.

Mark (28) just returned from two weeks in China. He’s a traveling fool (a.k.a. one who really likes traveling). He just might be the most mercy-filled police officer in Pasadena – where he has received special recognition from the department. He talks a big game but you won’t see him on COPS anytime soon. He is simultaneously pursuing his B.A.

Joy (18) blew our minds (and delayed my already delayed retirement) when she decided she wanted to go to college. She wants to teach marginalized and underprivileged children. Next to me, Judson is still her favorite guy on the planet. Not long after his inaugural trip with the family to KC this summer, Joy and Jud went to NYC for a weekend at Bernie’s (I mean Craig’s). Did I mention she has gone almost seven months without crashing the car?

You have now read 571 words or 47.94% of this very wordy letter.

Brad (29 – only days away from being 30!) Dang, he’s old! This is the last year we will mention his and Jamaica’s age. He’s my “Cat’s in the Cradle” boy. If you’re ever with me when this Harry Chapin song comes on the radio, please don’t laugh as I cry like a baby. Throughout the year, Brad and I could have actually bumped into each other if only we had known the other was in the same place. My calendar is often planned as far as 24-hours in advance while Brad just doesn’t broadcast where he’s going. He still works at Foursquare, Personality, and the Center for Church Communication (home of churchmarketingsucks.com). He Twitters, Blogs, and has an iPhone – he just doesn’t use technology to tell me where he’s going.

Jamaica (30) celebrated the onset of her third decade of living, with friends and family coming together in LA for a big time soiree (it rhymes with LA). She also took, and did well, on the LSAT (Legal School Admission Test) this year. She wants to make a significant contribution in the area of social justice law. How cool is that? She’s very brilliant and thankfully, doesn’t point out the fact that I am intellectually challenged. She continues to be an adjunct professor at Biola, APU, and a local community college – this year she taught thirteen classes.

Brad & Jamaica have been married for seven years and celebrated in Victoria, B.C. and Seattle. They also have invested themselves in a home (less) group of people on a weekly basis, and here’s the best part, they (yes, “they”) memorized the entire book of Philippians!

After 33+ years of wild marital bliss (usually), Ann and I continue the shift from a complex existence to a more simple way of doing life. For us, that means living on less and giving more – time, energy, and resources.

In June, we moved from the suburbs to a pint-size house, in a transitional little neighborhood, in Charlotte’s Arts District, called NoDa. It’s home, cool and cozy (did I just say that?). Ann was determined to go though every box and piece of paper before we moved to be sure we didn’t bring any unnecessary junk. There went her first half of the year!

This summer Ann and I took our annual anniversary rendezvous and escaped to a relaxing destination for six days of uninterrupted peace, tranquility, and more! This fall we co-led Watershed’s (our church – WatershedCharlotte.com) One Bloc, a marriage group in our home. It was the most amazing and transformative small group I have ever experienced. Ann continues to help me to be better as a dad, husband, and Christ-follower, both by her example, constant prayers, and proper placement (the back of the toilet) of books she wants me to read.

I’ve enjoyed my work this year. My focus has been to find the right “who” to align with (clients, associates, etc.), knowing that the right “who” will lead to the “what” (projects & activites) so that we can ultimately accomplish the “why” (generosity to people living in the margins). 2008 has been a big year – I find myself in the midst of ideators, strategists, professors, pastors, authors, C-suite leaders, serial entrepreneurs, creatives, luminaries, and an unrivaled workforce of passionate, get it done people – working on some of the most exciting and life-altering projects ever.

Thank you for being a part of our lives. We hope you have a wonder [full] and meaning [filled] Christmas as you embrace family and friends to reflect upon the miracle of His Birth and the wonders of His Life.

Merry Christmas,

Tim & Ann, Brad, Jamaica, Mark, Craig, Luke, Joy, and Paul

An email from my pastor

On Friday, one of our pastor's gave us tickets to see Neil Diamond. So, after the neighborhood Christmas party, Ann and I went to see Neil (along with 16,000 others).  It was one of the best entertainment experiences in my entire life. I don't even know why for sure, but it I was disturbingly engaged. 

On our way to see Neil, Matt sent me this email. Other than the idea that he might have too much time on his hands, it's ridiculously creative. 

Tim:

"Hello Again"...

I was "hooked on a memory with you". I sent you to this concert knowing you guys are probably going to make a "Beautiful Noise", as wonder, "Can anybody here me?"

I would have put you in a "Crunchy Granola Suite", but I know you are "Forever in Blue Jeans"...and not a "High Rollin Man!"..... "If you know what I mean!"

I know this email will seem "Done too soon".... but "I've been this way before". I have go and continue my plight as a "Solitary Man".

Just remember, there is no "SHAME?, in ... "Surviving the Life",... the "Sweet LIfe"...

Never stop being a "Star Gazer", or saying, "YES I WILL". Don't allow these words to become, "Yesterday's Songs"... because,"Deep inside of You, ...just know that "Girl, You'll be a women soon!" and "The Grass won't pay no mind!"

So,... "Turn on your Heart light", and "Dry your eyes"...

Until we say... "Hello Again!"

Matt O'Neil
Co-Pastor

The Best Christmas Movie Ever!

It's a family tradition - we watch this every year. Yep, it's got some bad language but it is so darn funny. I can't believe that this movie has been out for 19 years!

Color of the Year?

Pretty interesting in this time of gloom and doom and media-labeled "recession" that Pantone would select this color as the color of the year. And, how the heck do you, or does anyone pick a color of the year. I'd like to hear the raison d' etre.

“The color yellow exemplifies the warmth and nurturing quality of the sun, properties we as humans are naturally drawn to for reassurance,” explains Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute®. “Mimosa also speaks to enlightenment, as it is a hue that sparks imagination and innovation.”

God knows we need the latter. 

Pantone Selects Color of the Year for 2009: PANTONE 14-0848 Mimosa

Thank you US Airways

Dear US Airways, 

Thank you for sharing this good news especially in the desperate days we're living in today!  Thank you for caring enough about your customers to add value whenever possible. By the way, thank you for matching my American Airlines status when I relocated to Charlotte in 2005. That great service, and the fact I live in one of your hub cities, is why US Airways is my airline of choice. 

Tim Abare

Root Amp = Painful amputation!

In February my dentist referred me to a periodontist because I had an exposed root. 

The periodontist suggested a "root amp" procedure to me in the same tone of voice I might recommend a restaurant to someone else. Very casual.

They told me the cost for the procedure and I decided to wait. 

On Thursday, I went back to have the "root amp" procedure. Other than the standard releases that need to be signed, there were no suggestions that this procedure, or the ensuing pain would rival a major surgery. No one told me I would have 24 stitches in my mouth. No one told me I would be rendered useless through sedation for 72 hours. No one told me the third day after the procedure would be the most painful. No one told me that the swelling would be frightening. 

All of that to say, over the last two years, I have intentionally made it a point to better manage people's expectations. My "root amp" reminds me of how important that really is.

At the barbershop

So, two weeks ago I needed a haircut. 

Since moving to the "hood" in June, I have not found a place (close to the house) that I would actually go to my haircut. Anyway, Ann told me about a joint nearby, and so, I boldly checked it out. Have you ever seen the movie "Barbershop"? 

Suffice it to say, once you open the door, there's no turning around. I swung open the door and six brotha's greeted me. They were all playing Xbox on the 5 foot TV screen, but that didn't stop them from making me feel welcome.

So, Bert (yep Bert) showed me to his chair. There were eight chairs! He proceeded to cut my hair... for the next 60 minutes... one hair at a time... very m-e-t-i-c-u-l-o-u-s! We talked, and talked, and, yep, talked some more. I told him about our marriage group  and he told me about his marriage problems. Fair exchange. As he was wrapping it up, he told me they wanted to work things out and so I asked if they wanted to get together with us (Ann and I). He said, "tonight?" 

That night didn't work for me, but, we all met last week for a couple of hours. We're meeting this week and, as long as they want to keep moving in a good direction, we'll keep meeting with them. There's a ton of issues to work through. It feels kind of good to do what some people think is radical... and really it should be so "normal" - helping others in their time of need.

PS - I talked to Oscar (our homeless friend) yesterday. He's in the Veteran's Admin hospital in Virginia getting some help. He hopes to visit us later this month. I miss the old guy!

Those Who Wait...

I wonder how many great discoveries, destinies, and dreams are determined over a cup of coffee. 

Four months ago, at the recommendation of my sister, my wife and I met with this couple at a Starbucks in Kansas City. Usually "sister" meetings are a waste of time and I was expecting nothing different for this meeting.

Maybe more disconcerting than my fear of wasting time was wasting time with a relentlessly driven visionary who thought his vision was the most unique vision in the world. Give me a break! Do you know how many times I've been in board rooms hearing visionaries passionately articulate what they think is the most God-centered idea to ever enter the mind of man? 

Fast-forward to last Friday, where four men convened in my office, including the same guy I met at Starbucks four months ago, to pray, and to ask God what it might look like to move in the direction of seeing this "dream" fully expressed.

One of my associates nailed it when he said, "Tim, I can't let my orthodoxy get in the way of what God might be doing here."

As I get older, I am finally beginning to understand that time, patience, and due process go a long way towards getting the right things started and finished. Those who wait... 

Virginia Prayer Rally

I received the following in an email this afternoon from a client...

Thanks again, everybody...

We had a great rally, and Jesus personally was in our midst, as many wept in the presence of God.

Between 750-1000 people attended from many diverse churches, including some out-of-state, and we were covered by The 700 Club and a few local news stations...

At least two of the six former (and one current) trooper chaplains attended, and were hailed as heroes by the crowd.

I think Richmond will be impacted forever by today's event, and many people remarked about how their lives were changed and inspired.

I'm glad to have worked with you all, and would recommend your services to anybody. For a short-notice sprint, I'm amazed at how quickly everybody came together, and provided great messaging and quick communications, and think we made an impression (and many advertising impressions) on many people, so that even those who didn't attend were likely impacted positively for God's kingdom.

Keep doing what you're doing, everybody. You're winning hearts and minds in the culture war, and today is just one example of your team's success.

In Jesus,
Chaps

Death of a...

Asking me (or anyone) to "successfully" market & distribute a film (or anything for that matter) in a mere 4 months, is like asking a doctor to race into brain surgery because you "forgot" a birthday or anniversary.  The outcome far exceeds the risk... like 1,000,000 to 1. 

Fireproof

I just looked. Fireproof is still charting - #11 this week, about $23.6 million on box office - after 5 weeks. 

But give me a physical break! As far as movies go, it's a miniscule budget, less than quality production, with volunteer actors, and Kirk Cameron as the lead. 

Congratulations to Stephen and Alex Kendrick and everyone else who played a part in this movies success, including a key role by Marc Harper at Outreach, who worked for me for years - not for making a trophy film or finding the best talent (although it is probably the best talent for the money). Fireproof did have a very long, broad, and aggressive marketing strategy (hats off to Kris Fuhr). But, as I've said for years, good marketing will open a film well in theaters but a "good" film will keep it in theaters. 

By "good" film, here is what I think I mean... a specific film that resonates deeply with a specific audience and meets a specific need. In this case, it makes all the difference in the world that the film specifically fits the need of church leaders.

And, for that, they have blazed a trail. Way to go!

Andy Crouch has an interesting blog post about this film too.

Disclaimer: I like Kirk Cameron. Ann and I, along with our children celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with Kirk, Chelsea and their kids in their home. 

JESUS WANTS TO SAVE CHRISTIANS

I read this book in 4 hours this weekend.

I'm reading it again, now.

Need I say more. 

This spirited literary piece will shape and shift my life on the same level as Ragamuffin Gospel (Manning) and Irresistible Revolution (Claiborne). 

It's a must read for everyone who deeply cares about the things God cares about.

Gemini (?) Cricket

A cricket’s ears aren’t located on its head, but just above the knee on its front legs.

I wonder if we hear God better when our ears are closer to our knees.

$700 Billion Bailout

For those people who don't like risk, I have some news for you... you're at risk!

As a taxpayer, we are all at risk.  We have just experienced a financial meltdown that officials say was the most serious since the great depression. 

The markets are fragile. Last week credit markets were frozen - american and industrial companies were unable to raise financing and retirement incomes were threatened. 

All said, in my opinion, the bailout is better than what I understand the alternative to be - a global impact and perhaps a colossal collapse.

New Office Space

On a recent trip to NYC, a friend or mine told me about Regus. Regus operates over 950 business centers across 400 cities in 70 countries. 

Whether you want or need an office full-time, part-time, or perhaps virtual, they have a nice solution. I signed up for the plan that allows me part-time office space with a permanent business address, a full service staff (receptionist, mailroom, admin services, etc.), use of conference rooms (complete with A/V and hospitality), and mail (includes shipping & receiving) and phone service in a Class "A" office building (see picture).

Now, as I travel from city to city, I can utilize a Regus property wherever I am (assuming they have a center). The cost is minimal and the terms are very reasonable. Of course, I still use my home office whenever possible - it's the best use of my time and resources. 

In case you're interested, here is my new address:

Tim Abare

525 N. Tryon Street Suite 1600

Charlotte, NC 28202

Phone (704) 631-3980

The Ghetto

Yes, sirens and train whistles fill the air - sometimes police helicopters and their one-million watt searchlights. 

Yes! We live in a section of the city, inhabited predominantly by members of an ethnic or other minority group, most likely the result of social or economic restrictions, pressures, or hardships. The dictionary refers to it as the ghetto. 

We refer to it as a transitional neighborhood. It's an area with it's share of marginalized people (defined as: relegated, on some level, as unimportant or powerless within society). There's a lot of crime too (see crime map). But, as caring people (like us) move into the area, some level of societal and, dare I say, spiritual lift is taking place. 

Come visit us - it's really a cool area.  

Andy Peterson

Andy Peterson (Dr. Andrew J. Peterson, Ph.D.) is the most stable, passionate, compassionate, reasonable, motivating, successful, winsome, and radically centered visionary I have ever worked with. By the way, for those who think I may live a sheltered life, I have worked with many leaders, perhaps one hundred or more.

The above thought interrupted me as I was preparing my portion of the annual plan for the upcoming annual staff planning meeting and I thought it was worth memorializing. It is tremendously fulfilling to be a small part of God's call to serve the church by preparing its leaders, on the graduate level, based upon the authority of the inerrant Word of God. 

The staff is top notch - to the point of personally feeling inadequate and intimidated. These folks get it, including my pastor, Scott Hofert, who contributes so much to the process and makes me look better than I am. 

Jonathan & Kayla George - ONE Bloc

On Wednesday we kicked off ONE, the marriage group that Ann and I host and co-lead with Jonathan & Kayla George.  After some bacon-wrapped shrimp and chicken cooked on the barbie, we gathered in the front room(s) for what might be the most engaging small group I have ever experienced. Thirteen couples with so much energy and diversity - from 40 days to 33 years of marriage and every conceivable issue and situation in between. People madly in love to others literally on the verge of implosion. People who follow God and others who don't. 

Ann and I like people to ask us questions and pull things out of us. That's when we are most vulnerable, transparent, and helpful. I thought you might like to see some of the questions we'll be attempting to answer over the next 10 weeks. 

How can I get my spouse to want sex as much as I do?
Is there a link between a man’s sex drive and a women’s need to have him listen... huh?
How can I navigate my way through the 8-5 world of work with a 24-7 spouse?
What are three ways to bring out the sexual best in my spouse?
How can I be sure that my spouse has an affair (aka extra-marital relationship)?
Why do I have to do everything around the house?
What does "romance" look like in my marriage?
Why do finances so deeply impact our relationship?
How can I allow my spouse to enjoy me when I don't like myself?
Are there tangible and practical things I can do right now to make sure we are crazy about each other in 10 years?
What three things must I remember when we're in a major conflict?
How can I live with a completely "opposite" spouse?
How can I get my spouse to emotionally fulfill me?
How can I separate "my" past from our present and our future?
Is it really possible to get my spouse to see and do things my way?

Our goal is to help couples get beyond just surviving - to thrive, and to have sense of desperation to do something meaningful with their marriage?

Joe Biden

Inspired by something similar that Joe Biden said during the DNC... 

Failure is inevitable,

but giving up is indefensible.

Pro. 24:16 "for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again..."